A new day has dawned with a fresh new attitude. Well it was a new night really. I'll try to make this long story short. (Is that possible with me? I don't know... probably not.) So here goes...
Last night I said goodbye to my little pity party. But before I get into that, here's a little peek into my last week for those who don't already know...
Last weekend I injured both of my knees on a backcountry ski trip in the mountains. It took everything within me, along with God's help after a bit of praying, to get me back down on my own two feet. The long trip back down (on foot instead of skis) was probably not the best thing to do on my injured knees (one being worse than the other), but given the situation, it's what I chose to do and what's done is done. Anyway... I started my recovery process with the RICE treatment (rest, ice, compression, elevation) along with ibuprofen, and began my bedrest. I started making some progress after a few days, but then reversed that progress after trying to do too much too soon. My family cautioned me, but I persisted, saying, "I need to work my way back into doing some things."
So what about the pity party? Keep reading... it's coming...
Now as many of you know, I am usually a pretty positive person that always (well, usually) focuses on the bright side of things. You know, being grateful for my blessings and all. This attitude does carry through to my latest situation with seeing how things could have been worse and being thankful that they weren't, along with being grateful for my very helpful husband and children, etc. But I've also been focusing on what I can't do right now that I want to do right now (hiking in the mountains where I love to be, taking our almost-daily walks on the backcountry roads, bicycling on these nice sunny days, getting stuff done that needs to be done, working on several things for my shop, and the list goes on). I am normally a patient person in most regards and situations, but bedrest really tries my soul! I feel so trapped by my body's incapacitation, and every part of my being wants to get up and move around. And it's looking like it may be a while for me before things get back to “normal”. Pity party has arrived. I can deal with such things for a short time, but long term gives me problems.
So... where is the new attitude? (Or more correctly... my re-found attitude?) Yep, keep reading... it's coming too...
Last night I was finishing up the book I'd been reading, Repacking Your Bags: Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life, which is not really anything new to me at this stage in my life, but rather more of an encouragement to keep going on the path I am on in life. But last night as I was finishing, I read something that just happened to hit home with where I've been at this last week. One of the authors of the book was in Africa when his friend there asked him, “So, Dick, what kind of good life are these people traveling with you seeking? The more people you bring to my village, the clearer it becomes that most are seeking something. At the start of your treks, all these people, all these successful people, seem to be struggling with some heavy weight. So I ask you, why must success weigh so much?” After Dick replies, he then asks Koyie what he thinks... to which Koyie answers in his Maasai language: “Meetay oidpa, oitumura ake-etay”, which he then explains means something like, “living passionately for today and purposefully for tomorrow”.
At first this didn't really strike me as anything new, because it is already what I have been doing in life. Like I said, this book has been more of a confirmation of things for me, rather than a new direction. But as I let those words turn over and over in my mind for a bit and let them fully sink in, I realized something. Although those words reflect my life direction in general, I haven't been living it for the past week. I've been abiding, but not really living... as I've been waiting to heal so I can get back to my life. But life shouldn't be put on hold. It's far too precious, and I know better than to do that. So I decided right then and there last night, that it was time to stop focusing on what I can't do, and start focusing on what I can do. I made my list of things I've been wanting to do that are things I can be doing, and I woke up today ready to get started on them. I can make progress while I am recovering. I just need to consciously choose what I am going to focus on.
When I told my family today that my pity party was over, they questioned with a surprised tone in their voices, "Were you having a pity party?" -- So I guess it's been more of an inward struggle that hasn't been very apparent to those around me. But all the same, it was time to let it go and get back to moving forward once again. My family helped me get outside to enjoy sitting in the sunshine a bit on this nice spring day in Montana. I really soaked it in. :)
Wherever you are at (both in location and in circumstance), I hope you enjoy this wonderful day, too. I wanted to share this in hopes that it may help someone else out there. How about you? Are you currently “living passionately for today and purposefully for tomorrow"? If not, why not? Dwell on those words for a time and see if that doesn't change for you. If this is a new concept to you, take some time to read the book. I can't say that I recommend 100% of the book, but I think you will get a lot out of it.
Repacking Your Bags by Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro
Thanks for reading my long story short... well not really short, but shorter. :) Leave your comments if you'd like. I don't always have time to respond to them all, but I do enjoy reading them. :) --Nikki
